Nearly as it Should be

An excerpt from a day last fall:

I sat with my perfectly warm cup of morning tea, gazing out the window. Many of the leaves had fallen from the trees and were scattered on the ground like a brown and yellow blanket. The rest clung to their branches as the breeze blew them back and forth in a colorful flutter.

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I sat alone with my cup of tea, both daughters peacefully sleeping in their rooms. Only the gurgle and whir of the dishwasher disrupt the peace, but the sound was comforting in and of itself.

This may sound like a regular morning to you but it was not for me. I am quadriplegic and normally have a caregiver in my home most of my day and the entire night (yeah, that photo isn't me, but it's kind of what I envision on mornings like that day). 

Woman drinking tea coffee looking out window

This means I have someone who is not part of my family in my home 21 hours a day. Always there, always in the background.

While having someone in your home may not sound like a big deal, it is for me. I had forgotten how much I miss being in my home with just my family … like the old days. Somehow it makes me feel less disabled.

I do not have caretakers by choice. I became quadriplegic over 10 years ago in a vehicle-deer accident. I am paralyzed from the armpits down. I need total help with everyday things such as going to the bathroom, showering, getting dressed, getting out of bed, preparing food, cleaning my home, driving, and lots more.

The chair I sit in is not my favorite cozy chair or sofa in the living room, it is my power wheelchair.

You may think “I’d love to have someone clean my home for me”, and if it were by choice, I would enjoy it as well. But, it is not by choice it is by necessity. What I wouldn’t give to be able to clean my own home and do it the way I like it done.

So … appreciate the little things.

The little things you might not even notice day-to-day. 

The little things that you expect to always be there and always be the same, the way you like it.

Sometimes you don’t know they are little things and

how much you miss them until you can’t do them or until you don’t have them anymore.

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What 'little things' do you miss? Share in the comments below.

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